Wednesday, June 29, 2005

20 Simple Rules To Be A Fuck Buddy

This has already become popular before even being posted. Quisiera invitar a todos a que comenten todo lo que puedan. Si creen que algo me falto pues diganlo, si algo esta mal dicho o no deberia estar pueden mencionarlo tambien. Esta lista se escribio porque unas cuantas personas encontramos la necesidad de hacerlo ya que nuestras experiencias demostraban que hay personas que necesitan saber y entender estas reglas. Enjoy!

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What is a 'fuck buddy'? The name says it all!
Yet we feel compelled to lay down some laws, rules if you prefer to call them that. To have "fuck buddies" means and will always mean: friends (or barely friends, or just two people) that have sex together, just sex. Sounds easy… right? Well it should be, but in honor of trying to keep this practice safe, there are some rules to follow:

1. No cuddling. That might confuse some people, so it’s better to avoid it.

2. Making out is not obligatory. This is left to both parts to fully decide.

3. Never ask questions afterwards. There’s nothing to talk thru, specially avoid the: what do you think of me? What do you feel for me? None of that is allowed.

4. After the act there’s no need to stay over. Your purpose together has been accomplished, so feel free to go your separate ways.

5. Always remember that this is a physical thing, not an emotional one. Don’t mix things up. Sex is sex.

6. It should always be FUN. If it‘s not, then get a new fuck buddy, the one you have isn’t good enough.

7. Do not expect anything else than sex. This is the only thing that a fuck buddy has to give you, if you expect anything else… then it IS something else to you.

8. No phone calls the next day. Unless you want to get some again.

9. No jealousy allowed. There is no reason to be jealous. There is nothing to be jealous about.

10. Remember that these people are here for just sex. Only sex. They might not even be friends of yours, they could easily be just acquaintances. Personal issues should be kept at home. All you shall be doing is killing the mood.

11. When it is time to meet please be respectful. Go fully shaven, well bathed, and groomed. Hygiene laziness will do nothing more than cause your partner to lose interest.

12. This is NOT a relationship! This is two people getting together to get something done. It is more like an agreement, and as everything in life if it comes to an end, let it be.

13. As said before being fuck buddies does not, under any circumstances, mean you are friends. Do not count on these people for anything more than sex.

14. There is no reason for lying when wanting to hook up. Enough with the common stories of "I'm Drunk", "I know you're home alone/I'm home alone", "I have nothing to do", "Everyone went home already and I don't want to", or even worse the famous "What are you doing?" at almost 4 in the morning when you know damn well the answer will be 'nothing.' There is no reason for having to say any of these, if you feel the desire to have sex then say it. The chances are your fuck buddy will have no problem fulfilling your needs.

15. Being that this is just an agreement between two mature people and that there are no emotional/sentimental bonds present than there are no problems as to having more than one 'fuck buddy.' Remember, there is nothing to be jealous about and this may prove to be better as you now have more choices.

16. If at any moment one of the parties begins to show some sort of emotions towards the other, which is not lust, then it is time to call it off.

17. Always be careful! Always use means of protection. Not only will you be avoiding possible embarrassing diseases, but you might avoid the worse thing of all: Pregnancy. Remember that this is an agreement between two parts where emotions are not present, a child would gravely cause problems.

18. Public encounters should be left to a minimum. If you see each other in public and are not friends than refrain from trying to speak to each other, this could be disastrous. If you see the other with someone else make nothing of it, remember there is nothing to be jealous of in the first place.

19. We must stress that this is a private affair. You may not disclose the name of your fuck buddy to anyone. You may say you have one, but do not name these people as we live in a society that frowns upon these sorts of agreements.

20. Finally it is important that you know that there are three necessary elements in sex with a fuck buddy. It's dirty! It's fun! It's good! Feel free to be as kinky as you want to be, feel free to experiment. Sex is all you have, exploit it.


Written & Compiled by ME & Ili!

37 comments:

Mona said...

I found you by randomly leafing through blogs...and you know, as long as everyone is following the same rules, it's all good. But the moment someone decides to change the game halfway through...then it's a different story.

Nice post.

Anonymous said...

Ustedes los graduados de la puca son peligrosos con eso...

drifw0od said...

te pasate full. :P

PLANETABLOG said...

Todo eso está chévere, el problema empieza cuando alguien quiere dañar el juego y cambiar las reglas, como dijo Mona. Cuando todo anda de lo mas chévere uno de los dos se le ocurre enamorarse del otro y ahí se jode to’.

joselo182 said...

i want a fuck buddy that at least could achieve half of those rules
:(

hahah pero tubo bien apero y acertado

Odisea Burbujas said...

Yay fuck buddies!

Great post! ... Having a fuck buddy is great, but eventually one of the two individuals is going to want more and that's when it all gets iffy.

Eleri said...

Eso nunca resulta. Mejor hazlo una vez y consigue otra jeje. Las reglas están bien, but remember: Rules are meant to be broken.

eileen said...

Oh! I'm a new one here, found you through Cesar's blog.

iliana... said...

liking the rules?
put the in practice or you'll go to fuck buddies jail :p
(that's a bad joke).

m0l0t0v said...

if there are any females up to it. dejenme un comment en mi blog =) y yo les doy los datos para contactarme =)

Anonymous said...

I could never be a fuck buddy.
It's so... dirty...

Susan said...

The thing to remember about FB's is that it's a short-term thing; kinda like a temp. You need to dismiss them after a certain amount of time or it becomes unhealthy. Why would you want them to stick around anyway? If you desired a long-term/permanent relationship, you'd get a girlfriend/boyfriend. Anyway, I tend to run into problems w/the 4th rule. What's so wrong w/telling someone that they've overstayed their welcome. I don't think it's mean. The deed is done so go home already and let me get some sleep dammit!

Thomas J. Brown said...

Not a bad list; there are definately some very good things to keep in mind. Really, though, the majority of the list could be rolled into a single item. So much of it relates to "you're not in a relationship!" that you could easily just have a single blanket statement to the same effect.

PKD said...

Hell is full of musical amateurs: music is the brandy of the damned.

Anonymous said...

fuck buddy sounds good - even to married people.

Odisea Burbujas said...

Yeah, my brother just got his fuck buddy preggers ... thanks a lot.

::over-whelmed:: said...

if people would breathe in out.. and simply do this.. it would be so much better..

::over-whelmed:: said...

#21:: if there are feelings and its not mutual.. the one with the feelings must let the other at his or her will and deal with it.. and moovvee onnn.. it's life.. sucks.. but it's life

#22:: if ur fuck buddy is being an ass.. or suffocates.. or not functionin well.. cross him or her out.. and go to the next on the list..

Anonymous said...

What ever happened to sex with someone you really care about.
I don't eat fast food or have meaningless sex.
Fuck buddies are like mcd's Not really satisfying, leave you kind of empty, and all around unhealthy.

Bracuta said...

George, I believe this is the best you've ever written so far. EVER!
I TOTALLY AGREE with you, so much that I'm even going to link to this post on my site, because there are a couple of people out there that really don't understand the meaning of the term "fuck buddy" and they want to get all intimate and stuff...
Buddy, we're only there for a reason, and that's satisfying our needs!

SPIDERWOMAN said...

As long as your fuck buddy is not married or engaged or has a girlfriend/boyfriend (or you), then it's pretty funny to have one.

Been there, done that, saw the movie, have the DVD, wear the t-shirt, have the poster on my wall and drink my coffee out of the mug. Stickers to come soon. :)

FrankY said...

1-A dude...
A fuck buddy gonna get i am....

Creo ke es posible tener un amigo/a de este tipo, una vez tuve una relacion con una amiga ke fuimos novios una vez , al tiempo (digase añales luego) de haber terminado nos juntabamos de vez en cuando para juntarnos LOL...jeje

y na...esa e la onda..

peace...

nice article, blog...whatever

iliana... said...

the best part is that a girl was part of the making of this rules.. so dont talk shit :P

Teacher George said...

ahh wow so many people seemed to have liked this. i'm getting traffic from OUTSIDE the island and non-Dominican. Now to see how I can live out the expectation to writing something as good again.

iliana... said...

we do good work together :p

::over-whelmed:: said...

ahmm.. excuse mee.. mr. jorge and ilz here.. whatever happened to natz?!.. why wasn't she included?!.. u both are in BIG BIG trouble!!..

Jean said...

Excellent guidelines, it's too bad most people won't have the discipline to adhere to them. Fuck buddies are ass-tastic!

Dr_Zeuss said...

OMG bro, You should do a follow up with more rulez!

very well done!


nice jorb!

Gabriela said...

#23 ~ As soon as someone starts naggin' it's time to look for a new one!

Anonymous said...

BTW.. igual que tu spidey, it is funny, especialmente if you run into them after gettin' hitched. And they know your husband.

Vanessa said...

hahaha se necesitan mas articulos de este tipo, good job balsa de loco

Claire said...

It's ok, but... what happens when the fuck buddy is a previous friend? All the rules about the talking and the caring.... are we suppoused to follow them? i don't think so!!! In my experience, there are some rules that need to be more... flexible.

SPIDERWOMAN said...

Claire, cuando son amigos de "antes" de ser fuck buddies, se es amigo ANTES de ir donde uno va a hacer lo que se va a hacer, y DESPUES de ello también se es amigo.

DURANTE "aquello", se es sólo el fuck buddy.

Rodrigo said...

jeje... good post..
although a lil' repetitive..

9. No jealousy allowed.
easier said than done..!

I've traveled this road,
FUN (but unhealthy) for the
most part and absolutely
NEVER a smooth ride...
rules dont apply!!

but if ur the type who
loves to feel empty...
suit-yourself..


Rodri

Tawsif Chowdhury said...

Nice Post..........
Very smart and forward thinking
Thanks for a valuable article.
Believe this might be terribly useful.
fuck buddy

GUITAR or DIE said...

You have discussed the vital points about fuck buddy. Thanks for share with us.

Jessy Reid said...

ive had the same fuck buddy for over a year and aha its amazing !!!!!! fuck buddys work. they work best when its someone your not super close with maybe a friends friend ... then there not much emotional feeling to it .