How To Make It Work

What's interesting about all this is that I may not be the perfect person for this. I may fail at this miserably, which is funny since the title of the post is How To Make It Work. Now this can, and should, work for friends, family, and partners. I know most of you are going to think of a boyfriend or girlfriend, so ... for the sake of making it easier on all of us. I shall focus it that way, even though you can use it any other way.

How To Make It Work

A lot of people have asked me how many girlfriends I have had. Truth is that it's been eight separate girlfriends. Never did they overlap, trust me. Now of those eight I think only THREE I can say I loved them, and there were/are two more whom I never gotto be with. Now I’m saying “love” and not “amar” because that is a tricky word. It’s hard to say and when you say it there is NO turning back. I am not naming names, but I can say that I have said it and NOW thought back to how much I did not feel it. Pero na, it’s not about that. El punto es que out of those 8 girlfriends I had some pretty long runs there too and I’ve concocted a list of things everyone must have to make IT* work. These are things you NEED to have one way or another, the absence of one will make the road a bit more bumpy together.

Tolerancia

La habilidad de reconocer y aceptar las creencias y forma de ser de la otras personas. Oigan en este mundito no hay dos que sean iguales, es imposible encontrar a alguien que piense EXACTAMENTE lo mismo que tú sobre TODO. Imposible. Por eso es que hay que ver a la otra persona y decir “ok, ella/el es asi y asi. Piensa esto y esto. Ok.” Si es algo que es horripilantemente mal, pues ok, try and change them maybe. Pero it’s all about accepting and respecting each other for who they are.

Flexibilidad

No. No es sobre posiciones sexuales. Imperves! I’m talking about being susceptible to change. To be responsive to change. To be adaptable to what may be different than what you are used to. When dealing with someone else you have to be flexible because not everyone is a sure fit. Perfect fits hardly ever exist in anything in life. Piensa en esos tenis que tienes que hasta tienen la forma de tu pie y por mas cosas que compres, ESOS son los mejores porque ya se adaptaron a ti y tu a ellos. Same thing.

Comunicación

Nunca me jartaré de repetir esta. Si no se habla y se dice lo que tienes en la mente se va acumulando. Si te molesto una vaina, take 5 minutes to calm your ass down, and then say it without it being un boche. Trust me. Es mil veces mejor decirlo todo que se vaya acumulando y un día explotes. Si no te comunicas la otra persona no sabrá que pasa y no aprenderá.

Talk. Talk. Talk.

Compromise

Why is it people think that fights fix things? Why is it all a competition? Nadie tiene que ganar. Yo nunca he visto una premiación de ningún tipo por ahi. ¿Entonces por qué es tan dificil llegar a un compromiso? Todo el mundo debe dar de su parte. Ninguna relación del mundo funcionará adecuadamente si solamente una persona da de su parte. Yo debo dar algo de mi y tú algo de ti para llegar a un acuerdo.

Amor

No love? Won’t work. It’s hard to distinguish BEING IN LOVE from the rest. There’s obsession, infatuation, liking, crush, love, being in love, etc… Son tantas variantes que uno se pierde uno mismo. A veces uno no se da cuenta de que era hasta DESPUES de haber pasado esa relacion o amistad. Pero simple love is easy to feel. Love for a friend, love for your family, or your significant other, you feel it. It’s there. You love them when they’re with you and when they’re not with you. You learn to love the time together as much as the time apart. You learn to live with and without each other. Yet, you know you are an essential part of each other.

Sacrificio

Ok, yeah, this one is tough. Es dificil llegar a un punto donde dices que tienes que dejar de hacer algo que te gusta por otra persona, pero it’s part of how it goes. It’s part of that love. It’s part of that compromise. Hay que hacer sacrificios para poder conseguir algunas cosas. Tampoco es que des tanto que ya no seas la misma persona y estes miserable, pero dejar de hacer algo un día para hacer feliz a otra persona no tiene nada de malo. You might even enjoy making someone happy.

Madurez

Now I know you’re thinking I’m the last person who should be talking about maturity, but here it’s different. Uno puede vivir su vida siendo un niño inside, loving life, laughing at it all, and enjoying yourself with everything as the days go by. You can! And you can STILL be mature about everything else. Es la habilidad de poder ver las cosas de un punto de vista serio y realista. De poder entender, aceptar y saber que hacer. De ver que estas con una persona, con mente y corazón , que razona y siente.

Respeto

Todo en el mundo funcionaría mejor si la gente se respetara como deberia ser. El respeto mutuo. People this is actually so much more important than all the ones above. Well, maybe it’s tied with love, but it’s so important. With respect comes compromise, with respect comes tolerance, with respect comes flexibility, with respect comes trust. No matter what happens … NEVER disrespect the other person, never do.

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Well, I ran out of things to say. I know it wasn’t as exciting as How To Treat A Woman, but it’s meaningful enough. In no way am I saying I have had perfect relationships, but I’ve learned from every mistake. Each one of those up there is there for something I’ve done wrong. Each one of those is there for a lesson I learned the hard way. But those are it. In any case I do have one last thing to say I once heard:

People forget what you have said.
People forget what you have done.
People never forget how you made them feel.

*Inset your situation here.