how did things change so much?

I have been trying to figure out how to start this one. In fact, I have been outlining it in my head since yesterday. But I just remembered that DoctorZeuss told me that what he liked most about my blog is that it sort of just pops out like if I was speaking directly to you. So, I will do so.

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I remember my childhood and teenage years perfectly. I remember the stages I went thru. I remember I didn't like anything that was in spanish up until I heard Heroes del Silencio and Enanitos Verdes. That was AFTER 1997. Then came La Ley and the rest is history. Now I just love any type of music. I will listen to it. I just can't hear some things too much.

I remember that for me clothes meant jeans [ i only had 1 pair ], an assortment of maybe 10 to 12 t-shirts, and 3 pairs of Airwalks [ all three still in use ]. For a certain period of time I would wear a flannel long-sleeved shirt tied to my waist. Yeah, I know. How very grunge of me. That was my life and how I lived it. Heck I didn't have SHOES to wear [ excepto los obligatorios para cosas formales que solamente se usaban para eso ] up until I bought me some Ferragamos in 1997 [ i still use them almost daily ] and a pair of brown shoes in some store that went bankrupt [ i use those too, daily ]. In fact I always wore Airwalks to school. I remember at one point I went in shoes and my classmates made fun of me because they were shocked. In the school newspaper it said something like "el metálico de 12th grade se ta volviendo jevito?" It was funny pero ahi fue que empezo el cambio...

Yo sé que he cambiado muchisimo. Los amigos que tenia cuando tenia 13 a 15 años me ven ahora y diran que fue algo drastico. MetallicA sigue siendo lo mejor, La Ley siempre sera lo mejor que ha habido. Metal will pump my heart until I die. Alternative will run thru my veins. Pero admito que he cambiado.

Ayer me llamo el Manu y me dice "Loco ven sálvame!" porque estaba en un Red Party y estaba inundado de jevitos. Jevitos que eran mi 'old crowd'. Pues con mucha angustia y vaina me paro de mi cama porque estaba leyendo mi tercer libro de Grisham en la semana y jalo para alla. Cuando entre me sentia desubicado. Todos me saludaban, todos decian "Mi Helmano! Ni cuanto tiempo!" "Mielda pero es El George!" "Viejo tu si ta perdio!" "Mielda mano tu tiene a uno botao!" No me senti halagado al ser extrañado. Yo era de ellos. Yo se que eso era solamente algo que decian por default, pocos quizas se dieron cuenta que habia parado de juntarme con ellos. Por mucho tiempo yo fui un "falso" tambien, vivi asi saludando a todo el mundo, aprendiendome los nombres de los bouncers, bartenders y meseros para aparentar que era importante en aquel sitio. Veia a los muchachos regados por el Red Party y le decia a Manu, Andrew y Eleri que a mi me daban pena.

Me dan pena porque los veo y me doy cuenta que estan estancados. La gran mayoria de ellos ni trabajan. Muchos viven de sus padres. Muchos ya casi acaban la universidad y otros ya tienen un año quizas fuera. Aquellos que ya salieron se la creen en grandes y los que siguen asistiendo juran que estan en el colegio todavia. Una de las cosas que a mi me causo el colapso mental y fisico hace unos meses era salir con ellos. Osea, don't get me wrong. These guys are all really nice people, but they hang in packs. They are like predators of sorts. They have their little cliques and at times believe they are better than others. I guess they haven't realized that the hierarchy continues. While they think they are better than many, there are so many more that are better than them. Other than that it is hard to compare, there are so many ways to focus. Money? Cars? Beach houses? Villas? Clothes? Sadly that is how most of them see things.

I was happy to know many of those who were actually my closest of that group had moved on. Gotten jobs. Gotten boyfriends or girlfriends. Started their Masters. Calmed down. I am proud of those, even if they may have forgotten of my existence.

You have to understand that I do not hate these people. I said I pitied them. I owe a lot to them. When I was depressed and down because of my separation with Cynthia a year ago they were there. Ovalles once told me though "No te lleves de eso joe, eso tigre siempre van a estar ahi para ti, porque ellos siempre estan ahi, cualquier dia de la semana salen y hacen un desorden" In a sense that was a good thing and a bad thing. They would always be there to help a fellow friend, good. They would always be there because that is what they do: nothing,... bad.

It is funny what 14 year old George would have said if he had met 19 year old Jorge. A simple 5 year difference. 14 year old George was angry, inmature, always in love, wanted to forget about his family, move away, study something in Arts, and most of all he despised Senderos. It's funny how it changed didn't it? I might still be a drunk, but I do not drink every day. It's almost how Juliet said, but for the better here, 'My only love sprung from my only hate'.

So many stages of my life have gone by, so many people I have met. I still go to a club and so many people say hi to me. I still know the right peoples names and go into the VIPs. I still know what to order and how to get things for free. I still get invited and I still talk to some of those people. But I have moved on. I grew up and realized life was not a huge party to drink thru daily. Claro, como me dicen Ovalles de vez en cuando... "loco toy jarto, hay que salir hoy! Vamo a rompe la calle!" Eso hay que hacerlo de vez en cuando, obligatorio.

I am glad I went thru all those different styles in my life. I met everyone from so many places. I have been thru all the groups. I have felt it and lived it. I can sit down and talk my ass off with whomever because I learned from the best all the little things. I am glad that I can go somewhere and someone will yell "mielda mano! el yorch!" Funny thing too... I always have a small part of me hoping that I am the only George they know.

I think that's it. Quizas se me olvido algo. Quizas hay esta mas de lo que habia pensado. Pero mi cerebro dio un stop abrupto.

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I am almost done with the next How To Speak Like George, I am in need of at least 5 more words or phrases. [ Voice of Unsolved Mysteries guy ] If you or anyone you know has any information regarding this matter please do not hesitate to speak to me thru MSN or e-mail.

DO NOT post them in the comments,
you WILL ruin the surprise of the next HTSLG