Sunday, October 02, 2005

These Are My Shoes ... I Walk In Them

I think it has been quite some time since I actually sit my arse down with notes scribbled all over the place to write a post. It's been a while since I have so many ideas to let loose. It has been quite a while since I have taught another lesson. Here goes...

I have been thinking a lot about what we are all supposed to be doing in life. What is it that makes us go on and/or fit in the right places when we're not going anywhere? Why do we tend to want to live up to everyone's expectations while feeling tired? Why is it that sometimes we strive for perfection when it is unattainable?

I don't know.

It is hard to truly grasp the idea of happiness I guess. I mean, are you happy where you are right now? Not at your life. I mean right now. I'm here writing and you're there reading at this moment. You happy? Look around you. Is this where you would like to be this very moment? Is this just a 'means to an end' ?

I, for example, am at home. The air conditioner is on. Another Brick In The Wall is playing by the London Philharmonic Orchestra. I am still wearing my pijamas and it is 5pm on a Sunday. I know in an hour I'm going to be getting ready and going out. I could be jogging. I could be writing something else. I could be reading. I could be studying.

But I am here. With you, somehow. I am writing to you. Not for me. To you. In a sense I guess I am writing so that at some point you will say "maldito loco' or 'good one Teach' or 'well that was a waste of my time.' The point is this one goes for you.

In life I have learned so many a thing. I now know that hair gel and going to the beach do not mix. Chewing bubble gum near someone else's hair is a no-no. Airwalks are the best shoes ever. Vaporub and Menthol will fix anything. Yet ... there is one thing I learned that some of you may say is incorrect; to a degree. In life you have to be selfish. Yeah. You do.

The deal here is finding the balance. I always tell my students: "Extremes are bad. Too much of something is just as bad as too little of it." You need to be selfish in life until a certain point. You need to think of yourself. You need to love yourself and ask what is good for you first.

There are so many people who are stuck in relationships where they are there to not harm the other. They stopped loving some time ago, but they are there because they don't want the other to feel pain. Sometimes you have to think of you first. Even in a relationship, in a marriage, in a partnership, in a job, in whatever. If you are not happy, then what is the point? Wouldn't you be lying to the other person? Wouldn't you be hurting yourself all this time?

Why do what others need or want you to do if you are going to be miserable? Stop trying to live up to other people's expectations so much. You know what? You need to live up to your OWN expectations. Would you imagine me? My dad has like 7 degrees and my mom has like 4. My dad has written thesis on Economics, Psychology, and Education. They both did TWO university majors at the same time! YEAH! One in the morning and one at night! AT THE SAME TIME! AND THEY GRADUATIED MAGNA CUM LAUDES! Try living up to that! Heh ... But you know what? There is my dad telling me "You do just as much as we do and you didn't study everything we did."

If you find what you love, if you can do what you love, if you can live off of what you love to do ... fuckin-a ... that's beautiful!

You see ... we have to stop trying to find perfection. People have it all wrong. What we need to do is find a perfection in all the imperfections. It's not the same thing.

the best thing in the world is to sit down and go "that could've have been better, this could've been cheaper, more people could've come, we could've made more money ... but I loved it"

Ever been in love? Ever sat down and stared at that person? There are millions of imperfections. Yet, you love them that way. Some people seem made for each other and they are so different. That you can look at them and say a thousand things that make them "not right" but they work so well.
Perfection in Imperfection.

That's what i love.

Let's stop trying to please everyone. Let's stop playing roles in life. Start being who we really want to be. Stop living up to other people's expectations. Start being selfish and think of ourselves for one minute first. Stop looking to be perfect and grow to love the imperfections in life.

Let you, be you.

20 comments:

Libélula said...

"To be yourself, in a world that’s doing its best night and day to make you like everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight...and never stop fighting"

I loved this, George!!!

Nelly said...

coincidencia de la vida, i just borrowed a book from a friend, called the art of imperfection, and i just loved this "the most perfect moments, usually happen at the most imperfect time"

Anonymous said...

mientras lo leia sentia cm si estuvieras revelando hasta mis mas intimos secretos... im not selfish, desafortunadamentr, i'm not selfish, and i wish, en serio quisiera ser un poquito selfish... si fuera asi talvez... talvez fuera un poquito mas feliz...
... iloved this post... tenia mucho esperando que escribieras algo con mas sentido...
:) keep it up hon..

annush said...

"Let you be you"

I think that's probably one of the hardest things to be. To be "you" requires jumping into the unknown. Sometimes is easier to be anything else. I do, however, think that your post is beautiful and it made me think that I truly hope that who I am is me and not a design of someone else.

P!nk said...

i was just sorta talking about that in my blog.
great timing..yo en depre! jejejej
excellent post..(*amelia claps*)
me pusiste a llorar!!

me said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
FLoWeR pOwEr! said...

this was great!
a lesson from da teacher...i think all that u said its true...that how i live my life...and i love it!
aunk no es k soy arrogante ni nada...im very good to people...por eso mimo pienso en mi pa despues poder pensar en el otro...a a...no voy a hablar tanto pa decir lo mismo k tue n otras palabras...
una forta abracada...adeu!

Kiki A.Ortiz said...

me encanto tener esa conversacion contigo,thank u..
pero..

pero.

perfecto en lo imperfecto,nunca se me olvida.

Kiki A.Ortiz said...

btw..muy chulo el post,uno de mis favoritos,i loved it pq es muy super tu!

Rosanna said...

Acabo de llegar al trabajo, no queria trabajar mucho :P y me he puesto a leer tu bloh...

Que mejor manera de empezar la semana que pensando en MI! Vivir para MI! complacerme a MI! thank you yolch.

Excellent.

Marianita said...

"The point is this one goes for you"-----> De verdad que sentí como si me estuvieras hablando a MI de verdad. Is good when someones remind us how important we are y lo bello que es amarse a uno mismo y que no matter what uno siempre debe ser uno mismo en todo momento.
P.S.....me hacían falta esa clase de post! miss ya

Vicz said...

"practicar no te hace perfecto"

-Cerati

this takes a new meaning when you realize that perfection is unattainable , yet you still strive to get to it. It is unattainable because it makes you want to go the extra mile, etc. etc.

just have fun on your journey!

Lida Virginia said...

Así que, leyendo este post, pensé un millón de cosas en las que concuerdo contigo, porque tengo como un mes y medio reflexionando sobre lo mismo... En primer lugar, la lucha del ser humano no debe ser en busca de la perfección, sino en busca de ser mejor... No podemos llegar a ser perfectos, sólo a ser mejores, reinventándonos día con día... De igual manera tampoco estoy de acuerdo con los que dicen: "Primero yo, segundo, yo y tercero, yo"... Eso es un extremo, eso es ser egocéntrico, hay que hacer un balance, sin olvidarnos bajo ningún concepto de nosotros mismos, del hecho de que si los demás son importantes, nosotros también lo somos...

Personalmente estoy acostumbrada a que los demás tengan grandes exéctativas sobre lo que hago, etc., Pero sé que lo que en realidad importa y puede llegar a tener sentido para mí es lo que piense yo misma sobre lo que hago o las expectativas que yo me haya creado sobre algo que yo emprendo, porque vivir para el otro no es vivir... Vivir para que otra persona se sienta orgullosa de mí no es vivir... Vivir es aceptarnos, valorarnos y amarnos por lo que somos, no por lo que otros esperan que seamos o que hagamos... Dejemos de complacer a los demás... Por cierto, I gottan thank God ´cause ..."I have also sat down and stared at that person". Excellent Post George!

iliana... said...

Imperfections are what keep things interesting. It makes me be me.

sarah said...

I needed to read this!!
As a doctor-soon-to-be, everybody´s got expectations of me. I got expectations of me Too much pressure.
Pero hay que ser un chin egoista. Para poder seguir.

Anyways una pequeña reflexion, Jesus dijo que amaramos a nuestros projimos como a nosotros mismos..sera entonces que no nos estamos amando a nosotros mismos adecuadamente??? There you go. Love yourself first.

Annie Sanchez said...

Bueno que te digo de este post? Me encantó porque es cierto uno vive a la expectativa de lo perfecto siendo nosotros imperfectos hasta del pensamiento. Yo soy suuuuuuuuuumamente exigente conmigo misma, si tengo un jevo que me gusta o algo, no salgo con un chicho, ni una uña mal limada, ni un cabello raro y eso me frustra porque no lo hago por mí, sino tratando de buscar ser perfecta para un imperfecto que resulta ser un idiota meticuloso y aburrido, pero what the hell? Yo no sé, yo voy a la univ, y todo el mundo parece salido de revista y yo realmente no vivo de eso so, no le doy mente pero a veces si se me acerca la gente y me mira mucho me da cosa. No hay que ser perfeccionista para buscar la perfección...Que cosa ésta! Great Post.

P.D en este país debieran existir más jevos así, que hablen cosas importantes y que adoren las imperfecciones, que se pueda hablar por horas sin ser de el último carro o camisa ralph lauren.
Rock On.

::over-whelmed:: said...

wow men.. uno de los mejores post.. de verdad k este post me puso a pensar.. just when i needed some wise words.. bam there they are.. great post.. u got to me.. and u know what ur right.. everything there that u wrote.. you are so right.. thanks.. i needed that.. =)

PLANETABLOG said...

Tenemos que ser un poquito egoísta, tenemos que tomarnos aunque sea un poquito de tiempo para nosotros mismos. El problema es que la vida tiene un gran sentido del humor, y nos expone a personas que llegan a ser mas importante que uno mismo, entonces, con esas personas no se puede ser egoísta, porque nuestra propia felicidad depende y está anclada en la felicidad de ellas.
I’m still reading this blog!

*Blue*Star* Hilda* said...

Why do we tend to want to live up to everyone's expectations while feeling tired? .... o love this post me encanto!!!!

The Anointing said...

We live in a world where things that we think that are alive are not, things that you'd think will make you happy, will not. Almost everyone is dealing with problems, trying to find happiness where it's not, doing millions of things in order to be accepted, to be cherished by everyone, but what does it all come down to? It all comes down to the being that created Heaven and Earth, the only one that could answer questions, and really be telling the truth, the only one that watches everything you do, your sleep, the Father that looks at your thoughts and feelings and thinks of how much He loves you and how such a beautiful being you are, despite your sadness, despite your fears, depite everything that everyone THINKS it's wrong about you, He does not see someone who's wrong. He sees someone who WILL be right, and whose ways will be better and someone who will be with Him somedaY and He will be pleased with your company,

Boy!! I wrote a lot, keep it up, I love your blog, and your ideas are like a super-yummy plate, I'll add you right away.......

Everyone in the world is looking for love, and they never find it, they always get hurt. I don't beleive that REAL love affects you negatively. But all of us are looking for someone to depend on, or to love and be loved, someone who could be our everything......

Well, no human being can be that perfect.......