Funniest E-mail Conversation

Para los que no saben lo Tigre and I nos escribimos diario por e-mail... es como si tuvieramos un forum pero sin tenerlo, como un mailing list pero sin el actual mailing list ... we just hit REPLY ALL y escribimos la primera porqueria que se nos ocurra ... and we do it A LOT. Cuando digo lo tigre hay que especificar que esto incluye a: Andrew, Moreno, Deme, Vicz, Ereli, Elegal, Joel, Crema, Joselo, Manu, and James. A veces incluimos a Lyn, Flor, Clo, Jesus, Lety or Minnie... depende del tema or guateva.

El punto de este post es postiar one of the funniest conversations I've ever read. Todo lo que postiaré fueron e-mail escritos por las personas que salgan, no cambie nada, solamente le daba copy-paste. Claro, hay algunos q se confundiran porque es dos personas escribiendo al mismo tiempo y despues respondiendose... pero here it is.

Beware:

Foul Language Included

Sorry guys,

but it was hilarious!

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Yorch: i was like reading this comic and $hit ... y en una un pana grita relajando NAKED SKYDIVING y otro dood takes it seriously and jumps off [just the parachute] ... ok ... soo.....wouldn't that hurt? o sea tu schlong flopping around and $hit? i mean ... y ni empezar de hablar del aterrizaje en si , pero ...o sea WHY? so se hace ?

Deme: Mierda men!! Esa vaina debe doler!!!! All that wind and !!

Vicz: Doods... eso es muy comun, men... hjeehe... en Wild On lo pasaban a cada rato.. look weird.... c0cks just flap away in the wind... jejejej....

Elegal: Chocar con un mokito a esa velocidad debe de picar… aunke sea un chin… o no?

Ereli: EL DEBEMBE de una camisa es inevitable. Pero esto no es porque le pase a una camisa, eso le pasa a todo lo que va en contra de un viento descomunal. En conclusión, if u jump ….. TODO SE DEBEMBA!

Andrew: Just imagine when the parachute opens.....that jerk thing that it does... remember parachutes are tied under you legs and stuff.

Elegal: DAMN!!!!!!!!! I FORGOT ABOUT THAT!!!.... !, NOW I HAVE A METAL PICTURE!

Andrew: Papa como asi??? A METAL picture...Osea.... todo en figuras metálicas... asi como Mario metal en smash brothers??? No creo que el parachute funcione para metal people

Ereli: Ah porque ahora elegal lo tiene de metal y vaina! ELEGAL EL METALICO!

Deme [to elegal]: bueno! you literally have balls of steel...hehehe

Deme [to vicz]: doods, si un wegy duele como el carajo...no kiero ni saber el halón k esa vaina da cuando se abra el parachute! OOOOUUUUUCCCCCHHHHHH!! ahora ahora, vicz (all mighty wise one) como k le puso mucha atencion cuando pasaron eso por TV. hehehehehehehehehe

Elegal: Tu entendite!... you all did!

Ereli: ELEGAL EL METALICO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ELEGAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vicz [to Elegal]: Yeh... we all got it.... u got METAL BALLS!!!

Vicz [to Deme]: on teevee.... what else do you need... Dont be all prissy now and deny when u see a boobie u dont turn back the channel... jajajj

Deme: ti ts catches anybody's attention...but that wasn't all u said.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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See what I meant? Keep in mind we ALL read it, just that not all of us reply at the moment. Not like el famoso día que dije algo de beisbol a las 7:15 y a las 2:30 tenia 35 emails!

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CORO BLOG TOMORROW!

Tambien será la despedida de Lety...

So, aunque no tengan BLOGS, pasen por allá!

If you read the Diary of a Broken Heart,

it's her ;)

Fairy Tales

Ever heard that old song that they always put in romance movies that goes "fairy tales can come true, it can happen to you, if you're young at heart"? It's a song by Tony Bennett, si la bajan y la oyen diran "ahhh si si si, la he oido." I've always liked that song, en si, it's a good song, pero I like the lyrics as well.

See the thing is that fairy tales are not that hard to realize. It just takes a lot of heart. People try and go by it with their brains, thinking too much, analyzing, listenning to others' opinions ... but that's not it. For true dreams you need to have heart.

Remember in that comedy with Gene Hackman and Keanu Reeves that they are replacement football players. Movie is hilarious [it's called The Replacements], but almost at the end they ask the coach what they need to win a game that they were losing by A LOT and he said "heart, lots and lots of heart." He didn't want the best, fastest, strongest dood ... he wanted the guy with heart.

They give heart very little recognition. Even when we'd watch Captain Planet and the Planeteers ... who the hell ever wanted to be Kwami with the ring heart?

Emmm ... ok let me go back to Fairy Tales. We all have our fairy tale lives in our heads. We all have what we really want, what makes us smile, what makes us happy, and we get all giddy. We have these thoughts about our future and we want it. We plan it. We think it. We talk about it. But I have to admit it's not easy to get there. It takes a lot of heart.

It's best when you don't just think of it, but you visualize it. When you daydream about it. When it's such a strong thought that you can almost feel it. You can picture a wedding, the clothes, the music, the people, the place, the waking up next to each other, the children, the education you give them, and so on. When you can start doing all that. Picking out details and things that for others would be generalizations. You're giving it heart if you can do that. You're letting your heart show you what it wants, what it feels, what it hopes for.

Setbacks? Bumps in the road? Sidebars? Blockades? Yeah. They happen. They happen a lot. If you're setback, you pick up the pace to catch up. If there's a bump on the road you hang on for the jump and get back to normal. If you get sidebarred, work it out, and then come back. Seeing a blockade on your road? Choose another path.

Our lives are like maps. When you get in your "car" you know where you want to go, you choose a path to get there. Sometimes that path may be bumpier, but shorter; some are smoother, but longer; some curve a zillion times; some just get you there in jiffy. BUT ... the idea is that they are all paths that lead you to the same point. It's what you do to get there that matters, it's how you handle all the problems in between that matters.

If you know what you want. If you got your destination ready and are faced with a problem. You don't stop and turn around to go back to the beginning and give up. You find another route. You look for another path.

So, don't give up so easily. If it's there in your heart. Even in the faintest, softest way. It's still there. Try and follow your dreams. Go after your fairy tale.

"Fairy tales can come true
It can happen to you
If you're young at heart"

CoroBlog - El Cuarto [MUDADO]

Señores ...

dada a varias concuxiones y errepivalias entre nostros hemos tenido que mudar el coroblog para el primero de septiembre. es decir ... 01 de 09 del 2006 ... o september 1st ... porque ? es que cuando contamos la actividad coaxial que habia nos dimos cuenta que por mas imperves que nos pusieramos la enfufureción de las personas no cuadraría. entonces dada a esas circuncripciones hemos decidido que lo mudaremos.

de verdad que nosotros no lo habiamos pensado asi, pero si ... si ... emmm ... se cambio señores.

todo el mundo pa'lla esa fecha!

El Cuarto - CBIV

Pues como dice el título ...
Alfonso y yo estabamos pensando.

[estilo asi]

que ya es suficiente ...
que ya la gente lo quiere ...
que ya es necesario ...
que ya ...
it's too much waiting...

pues por ahi viene...
OTRO COROBLOG!

Que vayan todos los blogueros y blogueras!
Que se tiren fotos! Que se oiga buena música!
Que se ria! Que se cherche! Que se goze!

Y SI VAN MUCHA GENTE ... quizas ...
QUIZAS VAYA TARZAN!!!

los quiero ver a todos alla!

"27 Ways To Be Like Jorge" by Erin Myers

To lo pana mio saben que me he puesto a limpiar y cambiar mi habitación. Ahora hay mucho más espacio, tengo una cama más grande y he botado el maso de porqueria. En esa botadera es que uno se pone a encontrar cosas que uno dice "¿y eto e mio?" Yo encontré dos pentalitro. No uno, sino DOS! Y para colmo ... uno tenia ron todavia. Imaginense de cuando es eso porque nosotros no bebemos asi de eso desde el año pasado.

Pero na. El punto es que he encontrado una listica que hizo una muy buena amiga mia el 28 de febrero del 2000. O sea que yo ni me habia graduado todavía. Estaba ahi en el colegio disfrutando la buena vida. Lo que me dio risa de este e-mail, que ella lo escribió dese Virginia ya que se habia mudado a vivir para allá, es que se llama "27 Ways to be like Jorge."

It's funny. Yo me rei cuando lo leí. Me dio risa ver que alguien me dijera Jorge. Me acordé que era el UNICO Jorge en el colegio entero y por eso nace lo de "EL GEORGE." Asi que decidí pasarlo aquí para ver, de aquellos que me conocen [sea por leer mi blog o de vida real], si todavia funciona.

"27 Ways to be like Jorge"
by Erin Myers

1- Act like you know what you don't, but this should not be applied to sex
2- Always ask
3- Don't panic. But act like you're panicked
4- When in doubt ... laugh!
5- Never admit that you are wrong, even when you know you are ... NEVER!
6- Eat good food every chance you get
7- Remember there is no such thing as too much sugar or too little sleep
8- Always make faces when feeling any type of emotion
9- There is no excuse not to dance
10- There are no limits when making fun of guys. If you go too far when making fun of girls, make sure you hug them, it makes everything "better"
11- Never blow bubble gum bubbles around long hair or dogs
12- Remember ... oldies songs are cool
13- When choosing something to wear, comfort comes first and socks are a must!
14- Being serious is not an option unless you are in "serious" trouble or someone "seriously" makes fun of your girl
15- Your hair defines your character ... mine, of course, is the best type
16- Don't [and i stress the don't] mess with me if i'm sleepy. - EVER!
17- If you act like you know what you are doing then people ask less questions and you get away with a lot more than you should have.
18- Read only the minimum amount in school but acknowledge the fact that some of the greatest people around are writers and see what they have to say every once in a while ... don't make this a habit though.
19- Remember... when dressing to go swimming, never wear hair gel. They dont mix.
20- Always, always, always wear boxers
21- When driving or being a passanger in your friend's car: always fear for your life, but know that if you hang on tight and scream loud enough nothing can happen to you.
22- Only bother the important people ... this should be left open for interpretation
23- Keep your promises
24- Know and admit when you've had too much to drink, but don't let this keep you from having a good time at a party, or anywhere else for that matter.
25- When in public, act like you're 3, think like you're 69 and look like you're 21. Although in real life you're barely 17.
26- Never copy anyone's style
27- Enjoy what you have, every minute of life, it's the only one you get.

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Bueno hasta ahi llego la lista. I think I took #6 too seriously. Ahhh and #25 well ... hehehe I had JUST turned 17 pero yo me veia más viejo. It's like now ... everyone thinks I'm like 30 or something.

So ... is this still me?

El Baby Boom Dominicano

Yo estaba durmiendo hace un ratico porque la lluvia empezo a caer y dije "ME VUA PLANCHA!" Al ratico me levante y seguia durmiendo. Recibo un mensaje de Clotilde diciendome que estaba pensando ir a Blanc tonight y después confirme con el señor Yussell que hoy hay una actividad pero no iban a cobrar ... pero terminó la conversación con la frase "pero hay que ir temprano porque la noche ahora termina temprano."

Quiero tomar mi tiempesito para comentar sobre la medida de parar de vender a las 12 de domingo a jueves & a las 2am de viernes a sabado.

I'm perfectly fine with it.

Honestly, seems ok, I don't mind. Quizas con tan sólo echar para atras uno o dos años yo estuviera quillado y armando marchas en el Mirador como un pana de Dary. Pero I've come to think that alcohol is not such an important factor, that phase is over. Don't get me wrong ... un buen trago es un buen trago. Lo que digo es que no hay necesidad para beber hasta la quiniela de la noche.*

Aunque creo que no fue bien organizado y no diske thought out to the fullest en si. Yo hubiera dicho que dejen de vender pero que la gente sigua en su discoteca, bar, colmado, etc... hasta quizas las 4am. Me acuerdo en Montreal que a las 3am pararon de vender bebidas y a las 4am *BOOM* prendian y apagaban toda la musica como si nada. Todo el mundo salia chilling ... pero con un jumo encima que empezo a las 7pm.

Creo que para este pais esta medida esta medio rara porque dijeron muy detalladamente como iba ser estricto esto en bares, colmados y discotecas ... pero y si yo tengo una botella y me siento en la Lincoln? ¿Quien me quita de una acera pública? Tengo entendido que si es público no te pueden fuñir por estar caminando o estacionado ahi. Sé que quieren que la gente no este fuera de su casa hasta las 5am y 6am. Maybe quizas para un gran grupo de nosotros, es mas, la mayoria de los que estan leyendo ahora no se pararian en la Lincoln. Why? Porque pensaran que es muy chopo. It's true. Ahora ... donde esta la falla en la medida?

La gran mayoría de la población de nuestra bella y encantada mitad-isla no le importa sentarse en el piso, en unos banquitos, en medio de la calle, donde sea y beber y bailar y gozar y cherchar. Oye ... eso no tiene nada de malo. Personally, I can't do it. A mi no me gusta, pero I know I am the minority. I'm not as fun, jubilant, and free spirited.

Ahora que pasa cuando tu le dices a un dominicano [terco y necio que somos todos] que no puede beber después de las 2am?

Oye in my sound mind yo he visto 'paquetico', 'paquetazo', 'dolar al 50pico', 'vendien la bahia', 'rock ash', 'vendien pedazos de parques', 'la isla', 'el metro' ... etc... siempre hay pal de gente que pelea. Pero yo nunca habia visto que organizaran una marcha tan RAPIDO porque no nos dejan beber. hehehe , eso me da risa. Pero na. La gente saldrá del trabajo y los Happy Hours gozarán. Mucha gente comprará a botella. Joselo tendrá una colección haciendo clink-clank en su baúl. Y se verá a mucha gente bebiendo mucho temprano. Ok, ta jevi. Mucha gente como mi hermano FortyFive.** Mucha gente lo tomará de una forma sumamente inmadura. You'll see.

Pero que uno hace a las 2am? Con dos o tres o una botella encima? AHHH!!!! Ahi es que viene el título de mi post. En Estados Unidos [and this is true] hubo un Baby Boom después de la segunda guerra mundial porque llegaron todos los soldados de fuera y na ... que mas iban a hacer? ohhh ... you know what ... Aqui va haber un baby boom si. People are going to have to see each other more. Talk to each other more. Find other things to do. Go home. And if you're home, you got couple of drinks on your head, ... hey ... why not? It serves the purpose.

I'm sorry if I have, in any way, offended those whom believe sexual intercourse is a sacred act of pure love. It is. At time. But sometimes it's just sex. Bless those whom think of sex as something of love, ojala existieran mas como ustedes. But face it ... people see sex as sex. It's like candy. There's candy everywhere. Everyone eats candy. There's different types of candy. Everybody has their favorites. Eating too much candy is not good, but never eating candy kind of blows too.

So ... I think the DomRep is going to get a period of BabyBoom. Y si se va la luz el dia que llegaste a las 2am. Bueno ... ahora si es verdad que solamente queda una cosa que hacer.

PS. If you're against this measure of the government. Hey. Take it easy. They aren't doing it to punish us, they're doing it to try and fix things. Cogelo chilling.
Jackshimash

*Yo sé que es 'quinienta' pero sonó more funny dike 'quiniela'.
**También conocido como FuckyFive

A Post

i have like absolutely nothing to write about

well, i actually have a lot that has happened, but...
i don't want to write about it

... so taking lety's blog post as an example ...

wait?

huh?

what?

uer iu bin!
UADAJEL!

ahh yes yes

green papayas

Church's Chicken

Proverbio d'Eleri:
Si María hace bizcocho,
Domino's pizza?

How To Make It Work

What's interesting about all this is that I may not be the perfect person for this. I may fail at this miserably, which is funny since the title of the post is How To Make It Work. Now this can, and should, work for friends, family, and partners. I know most of you are going to think of a boyfriend or girlfriend, so ... for the sake of making it easier on all of us. I shall focus it that way, even though you can use it any other way.

How To Make It Work

A lot of people have asked me how many girlfriends I have had. Truth is that it's been eight separate girlfriends. Never did they overlap, trust me. Now of those eight I think only THREE I can say I loved them, and there were/are two more whom I never gotto be with. Now I’m saying “love” and not “amar” because that is a tricky word. It’s hard to say and when you say it there is NO turning back. I am not naming names, but I can say that I have said it and NOW thought back to how much I did not feel it. Pero na, it’s not about that. El punto es que out of those 8 girlfriends I had some pretty long runs there too and I’ve concocted a list of things everyone must have to make IT* work. These are things you NEED to have one way or another, the absence of one will make the road a bit more bumpy together.

Tolerancia

La habilidad de reconocer y aceptar las creencias y forma de ser de la otras personas. Oigan en este mundito no hay dos que sean iguales, es imposible encontrar a alguien que piense EXACTAMENTE lo mismo que tú sobre TODO. Imposible. Por eso es que hay que ver a la otra persona y decir “ok, ella/el es asi y asi. Piensa esto y esto. Ok.” Si es algo que es horripilantemente mal, pues ok, try and change them maybe. Pero it’s all about accepting and respecting each other for who they are.

Flexibilidad

No. No es sobre posiciones sexuales. Imperves! I’m talking about being susceptible to change. To be responsive to change. To be adaptable to what may be different than what you are used to. When dealing with someone else you have to be flexible because not everyone is a sure fit. Perfect fits hardly ever exist in anything in life. Piensa en esos tenis que tienes que hasta tienen la forma de tu pie y por mas cosas que compres, ESOS son los mejores porque ya se adaptaron a ti y tu a ellos. Same thing.

Comunicación

Nunca me jartaré de repetir esta. Si no se habla y se dice lo que tienes en la mente se va acumulando. Si te molesto una vaina, take 5 minutes to calm your ass down, and then say it without it being un boche. Trust me. Es mil veces mejor decirlo todo que se vaya acumulando y un día explotes. Si no te comunicas la otra persona no sabrá que pasa y no aprenderá.

Talk. Talk. Talk.

Compromise

Why is it people think that fights fix things? Why is it all a competition? Nadie tiene que ganar. Yo nunca he visto una premiación de ningún tipo por ahi. ¿Entonces por qué es tan dificil llegar a un compromiso? Todo el mundo debe dar de su parte. Ninguna relación del mundo funcionará adecuadamente si solamente una persona da de su parte. Yo debo dar algo de mi y tú algo de ti para llegar a un acuerdo.

Amor

No love? Won’t work. It’s hard to distinguish BEING IN LOVE from the rest. There’s obsession, infatuation, liking, crush, love, being in love, etc… Son tantas variantes que uno se pierde uno mismo. A veces uno no se da cuenta de que era hasta DESPUES de haber pasado esa relacion o amistad. Pero simple love is easy to feel. Love for a friend, love for your family, or your significant other, you feel it. It’s there. You love them when they’re with you and when they’re not with you. You learn to love the time together as much as the time apart. You learn to live with and without each other. Yet, you know you are an essential part of each other.

Sacrificio

Ok, yeah, this one is tough. Es dificil llegar a un punto donde dices que tienes que dejar de hacer algo que te gusta por otra persona, pero it’s part of how it goes. It’s part of that love. It’s part of that compromise. Hay que hacer sacrificios para poder conseguir algunas cosas. Tampoco es que des tanto que ya no seas la misma persona y estes miserable, pero dejar de hacer algo un día para hacer feliz a otra persona no tiene nada de malo. You might even enjoy making someone happy.

Madurez

Now I know you’re thinking I’m the last person who should be talking about maturity, but here it’s different. Uno puede vivir su vida siendo un niño inside, loving life, laughing at it all, and enjoying yourself with everything as the days go by. You can! And you can STILL be mature about everything else. Es la habilidad de poder ver las cosas de un punto de vista serio y realista. De poder entender, aceptar y saber que hacer. De ver que estas con una persona, con mente y corazón , que razona y siente.

Respeto

Todo en el mundo funcionaría mejor si la gente se respetara como deberia ser. El respeto mutuo. People this is actually so much more important than all the ones above. Well, maybe it’s tied with love, but it’s so important. With respect comes compromise, with respect comes tolerance, with respect comes flexibility, with respect comes trust. No matter what happens … NEVER disrespect the other person, never do.

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Well, I ran out of things to say. I know it wasn’t as exciting as How To Treat A Woman, but it’s meaningful enough. In no way am I saying I have had perfect relationships, but I’ve learned from every mistake. Each one of those up there is there for something I’ve done wrong. Each one of those is there for a lesson I learned the hard way. But those are it. In any case I do have one last thing to say I once heard:

People forget what you have said.
People forget what you have done.
People never forget how you made them feel.

*Inset your situation here.

I was thinking ...

i was thinking.

[i know some people who just went UH OH HE'S BEEN THINKING]

So, i was thinking ... why is it people talk to themselves in the Supermarket? I was shopping for some flowers the other day and I walked up to the flower section and in my head said "red roses. no. purple and yellow. no. orange and white. ahh yes, perfect." but next to me was this lady who was talking outloud. "No esas no me gustan. ¿Y estas? Quizas. Mejor me llevo las otras." then she walked away only to return 10 seconds later "No no mejor no. Ya compre esta semana. Acuérdate."

Yo me voltie a ver si hablaba con otra gente por ahi.

No one.

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Why is it que cuando esta lloviendo siempre hay un panita que te quiere lavar los vidrios? O sea. Really. Water. Coming Down. Car is wet. Nothing you can do.

El mejor es el que viene y te pasa la mano por el retrovisor. LA MANO. O sea que no quito agua, sino que las puso en grupitos más gorditos. Y después pegan la cara al vidrio a ver si tu estas buscando algo. And they stay staring, just in case they saw wrong.

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Why don't they make GI Joes anymore?

The cool ones from the 80s and early 90s.

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¿Por qué a todo el mundo le gustaba Seiya?
El no hacia nada.
El esperaba que todos los demás se fajaran y se mataran...
ahi el entraba de último.

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Los anonimos no tienen vida.

Sika to!

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¿Por qué TODAVIA hay letreros de Baninter?

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"He who speaks knows nothing,

He who knows is silent"

from Tao Te Ching
by Lao Zi

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Why don't they take the chance now and make a Thundercats, Centurions, and M.A.S.K. movie? Wouldn't those really really really ROCK!

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Tengo ganas de comer palito de queso entre dos platanitos.
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i think i have nothing else to think of
i will go to sleep now

2.56am

Yo Era Asi Mismito!

YO ERA ASI MISMITO!!!

Fuera de coro!

that's the song from GI Joes the Movie!
I actually own that movie, it rules!!!
Yo hacia eso mismo, dumped ALL my GI Joes in the tub!
And I had like 70 Joes!

that is all, nothing more
i just got excited there