Friday, May 20, 2005

the past : survivor's kit

Last night I saw Star Wars III - Revenge of the Sith in Diamond Mall. No big lines, no big crowds, just perfect. An awesome movie. A spectacle of beauty I would say. I believe it was a COMPLETE movie. Everything. Emotionally. Cinematically. Action packed. It was great.

Now, this blog post is not about Stars Wars III, although I do highly recommend you watch it 3 or 4 times at the movies and then buy the DVDs. This one is because of something Yoda said last night in the movie, as well as a conversation with my dad reviewing last night's Apprentice Finale. You might think it's boring, no it's not. If my dad had anything to do with this blog entry then you should feel priviledged that you get to benefit from his wisdom as well.

Well this all started because I was telling my father about something Yoda said last night. He said that "The fear of loss is a path to the Dark Side." This is one of the reasons Jedis are not allowed to feel or apegarse a nada basicamente. Si uno se enamora o se apega a algo pues por ahi mismo siempre andará el miedo a perderlo. It's just interesting how the Jedi work. No emotions. No feelings. All the feelings will lead to something bad. They are not allowed to LOVE because you may FEAR that loss of someone, you may become JEALOUS, or ENVIOUS. I'm not really going to get into how I approve and disapprove of this. But it hit me how you never really think about it that much. Every good thing has some bad thing that MAY appear if you are not careful. Ojo que yo sé que ya hemos abundado sobre el tema de que hay que arriesgarse en la vida, asi que simplemente yo sé que estos es con los Jedis y es algo que siempre ha estado ahi. Pero entiendan, los Jedis son neutrales - el perfecto balance, cualquier falseo en sus emociones y es para el Dark Side. It's just interesting how that works, any small sidestep could cause you to lose control. ... Bueno enough of that ...

This morning I sat in the office speaking to my dad about last night. About the movie and Apprentice. When we started speaking of Apprentice I told him that we watched it because we always do, but that it was getting rather tiresome. I know that the next season we will watch it as well, but not with as much enthusiasm. Bueno todo vino porque le digo a papi "Nada, la vamos a ver pero el va tener que hacer algo nuevo porque ya uno se ta jartando de lo mismo." Pues entonces de la nada el dijo:

"Es que el ser humano simplemente llega a un punto en el cual lo comun y cotidiano se vuelve aburrido, medio 'jarton' como tu siempre dices. Y mas si es en una relacion amorosa o sexual."

... Pues me quede en shock y no le di tanta mente en ese momento porque simplemente por ahi seguimos...

"Si papí pero como que uno despues de ahi lo que hace es encontrar cosas nuevas en lo viejo"

"Ahi es que esta el truco, si. En que despues de tanto tiempo uno siempre encuentre algo nuevo, algo novedoso. Sino pues uno vive pensando en el pasado. Y no todas las relaciones pueden subsistir simplemente por las cosas bellas que hayan vivido en el pasado."

... bueno ...

yo me quedé con eso en la cabeza hasta las 3pm. cerré el colegio y el camino entero a mi casa tenia eso en la cabeza. osea, si uno no encuentra algo nuevo en el cual disfrutar juntos uno lo que hace es tratar de revivir el pasado. ¿cuántas veces yo no he hecho eso mismo ... buscar entre mi pasado y deprimirme porque no es igual? es dificil vivir en el hoy sin pensar en el ayer. aunque uno se propone adelantar y seguir con su vida en lo que sea pero de alguna forma el pasado reaparece. siempre cuando uno no lo espera. siempre cuando uno tiene la defensas abajo.

hace mucho escribi algo y se los mande a aquellas personas que son parte de mi y una frase decia "i live in the past, hate the present, and fear the future." eran tiempos oscuros para mi. me perdi. i was lost, even more than you may have thought i am now.

eso que me dijo papi se me quedo en el corazon. no se si me lo decia a mi. no se si de verdad ese mensaje era PARA MI. pero sea como sea me lo cogi para mi. hay que buscar algo nuevo en lo viejo siempre. hay que encontrar aquello que hace que uno se enamore nuevamente con algo o alguien. it's funny. i've always written about this in my poems, but just now it's that i actually find those old things i once wrote and say to myself "viejo pero tu mismo lo dijiste y ni a ti mismo te hiciste caso."

maybe it's time i kick myself and pay attention to what i have before me, not behind me. thanks dad for showing me what was always there. thank you for reading.

-Teacher George

PS. Happy Birthday Gabbz! Love you always wifey!
PS2. I'm not really married.
PS3.No Offense Gabbz
PS4. Honestly, I'm not married.


~ "Blower's Daughter" by Damien Rice ~

11 comments:

iliana... said...

=).. asi e, asi es k debe de ser. Muchas veces necesitamos de alguien to help us realize what we already know.
Live in the here and now, it will make everything more enjoyable.

Kiki A.Ortiz said...

como tu pá dijo las cosas no viven por lo que fueron..sino por lo que son,lo que esta vivo es lo q somos...me lo dijiste hace par de días "que mal ,el no puede estar viendo lo bello que fue sino lo bello q va a ser"...entonces?tu eres tan tonto a veces..
...suerte en el encuentro de tu presente y futuro...miralos como una salvación no como algo a que temerle...ya lo malo pasó...


.....till i find somebody new

Anonymous said...

You cannot lead your life based on your memories, you need to base your life on imagination, on closing the gap between what you are capable of becoming, and what you are now. I wouldn´t bluntly state it as ´´live in the here and now´´ because that by itself WILL NOT make it more enjoyable. I would rather say do not postpone your life, do not delegate your life to someone else, or to a memory, or to an ungranted wish, desire, to something you covet. I would rather say live the now in such a way that you have a clear vision of what you want your future to be like, and make sure that each day you live is a stride in making tomorrow more alike what you want your today to be like. "Man's task is simple. He should cease letting his existence be a thoughtless accident", as Nietzche so beautifully put it further describes the issue. What you need to know is that the past, and with that the memories, are for learning purposes only. So think, yes, but make sure your thoughts are focused on the future of your present, and on the present of your future, and that the past serves it´s one true purpose: to keep us from making the same mistakes more than once...

Anonymous said...

Deep. Tuve que ponerme el traje de buzo para entrarle. Y yo estoy segura que es cierto lo que dijo tu padre: cada día encontrarle un ángulo nuevo a una situación cotidiana es una forma de no dejar morir el sentimiento.

Take care, George!

SPIDERWOMAN said...

Esteeee, esto fui yo:

Deep. Tuve que ponerme el traje de buzo para entrarle. Y yo estoy segura que es cierto lo que dijo tu padre: cada día encontrarle un ángulo nuevo a una situación cotidiana es una forma de no dejar morir el sentimiento.

Take care, George!


Se me pasó llenar el "identity" thing ANTES de escribir...

hipergrafismo said...

Hey anonymous, Wanna get hitched?

Oscar Wilde said...

Some mistakes are too good to make only once.
Or twice.

Anonymous said...

If that´s the case Mr. Wilde, then they wouldn´t be considered mistakes, now would they? Then again dear lad, that would depend on your definition of mistake. Not only that Mr. Wilde, I´m sure that having written passages like ¨Dorian Grey¨ and ¨The Birthday of the Infanta¨ you are well aware that coming to identify a certain action or experience as a mistake is determined by that particular individual´s ability to go through rigorous processes of self-contemplation...Those who don´t have the ability to do this are subject to Kundera´s ¨unbearable lightness of being¨...

Oscar Wilde said...

Take this advice to heart dear child, nobody likes a smart ass.

A mistake is a very traitorous, subjective thing,it can be good, bad, or my personal favorite, both. It does not negate a positive outcome. It is naive to deal in absolutes child. I'd make them all again, possibly even add a few more just for the pure hell of it.

Gabriela said...

George, ahora mismo estoy demasiado abrumada por tus felicitaciones... me luv ya too!!!! lueguini te posteo algo, cuando me calme un chin. MWACH!

Libélula said...

Nostalgia: when you find the present tense and the past perfect...Eventhough life is only understood backwards, it must be lived forwards.

Siempre habrá momentos en tu pasado a los que deseas volver, pero como dijo tu papá, el key del asunto es tener en tu presente el elemento de sorpresa...algo nuevo para que la tediosidad de la rutina nunca te abrume.