Monday, April 18, 2005

"Eso te limpia..."

What's with parents and "limpieza"? I mean, really...

As long as I can remember I've been hearing things to eat, drink, buy, use, and take that will in some way CLEAN me or my surroundings.

I remember when I was a little kid and we'd go to the beach my dad would always say something about how ocean water cleans the sinus and gargling it would clean your throat!* He would always give me this pill [he still does] once a year "para los parasitos." My mom is always trying on some new spray on something for my room "es que huele a hombre"... well mom, shouldn't you be proud? I doesn't smell like a sissy's room! "Es que huele como a humo" ... sadly she always says that eventhough I've told her a thousand times that's what happens when you go to a club/disco here, you end up smelling like cigarettes and nitro.

Funny thing is the stuff we eat sometimes. "La lechoza te limpia" ... "una taza de caffe cubano te limpia" ... "ese picante esta que te limpia la nariz y te pica el craneo" ... "come mas cheesecake que eso te limpia."**

And this has been going on for years, you know... hey, God bless em for trying to keep me "on the right path" and "organized, clean, and responsible"*** My dad walks into my room DAILY, i'm not joking, and cleans my dirty clothes and stuff I threw on the floor. I'm not a pig, I pick it up in the morning, pero cuando yo llego de noche yo me quito todo diunave y DESPUES, al otro dia, es que se recoge.

Oh God... and the medicines and stuff. Hahaha that's the funny one. You see I already do not need any help going to the bathroom for any of the two reasons, but they somehow insist on drinking "cascara sagrada" and "horsetail"**** But today, no ... TODAY is when it got bad. My dad gives me a BOTTLE of coconut water. Now, first things first... I HATE COCONUT. Solamente el dulce de coco en todas sus variantes. But coconunt? the white fleshy thing? the watery disgusting spermy looking thing... NO!

"Bebete una botella, eso te limpia..."

...

my only response was... [looks at bottle] - [looks at dad] - [looks at bathroom] "...MAS!?!?!"
I think they are trying to make me implode*****.

I don't even know what else I'm going to be drinking or using or taking or eating that is supposed to help me "CLEAN MYSELF."




* Actually I later found out this was true, but it's part of the story.
** Ok... ok ... that one isn't true, but I can dream!
*** This one they have failed miserably on.
*** One makes ya poop, one makes ya pee. I'll leave your imagination to see which is which.
**** This means to blow up inward, as in the opposite of EXPLODE, it'd blow up but go inside all... you know what? forget it...

7 comments:

Soy Manu said...

Loco mira...Un finde fuera en un hotel por ejemplo, eso te limpia; un finde q no bebas alcohol eso te limpia; un finde que bebas al alcohol luego de una semana cabrona, eso te limpia. Un jabon de cuaba, eso te limpia; reirse como un chamakito, y eso tu lo haces a cada rato, eso te limpia; llora como una niña, eso tambien te limpia. Loco y asi sucesivamente tu te va limpiando. Asi q ya sabes comienza tu limpeo fuelte...Chenkui Yakchemash

Anonymous said...

hahahahahahahaha..ay ay..ejeejejejej q lokito..
muy apero..

DisturbiKa said...

En el campo de mi familia se usa eso de las botellas... a las mujeres ke tiene problemas les hacen una botella para ke se limpienj.-.. todo es una jodia botella.. de raices de kesiyoke con hojas de no se cuanto, y jugo de lo otro... lol... mami ua vez kiso darme una.... tuvo ke barajarlo.. esos "limpiadores" saben a rayo!!!!!!!! lol

joselo182 said...

dejense de baina ke l0o uniko ke limpia es una eponja,

senioreeeee yo toi apoyando lo ke dice manu, UN FINDE LIMPIA

iliana... said...

Yo no se pk los padres siempre te kieren ta limpiando el organismo, ellos tienen como una obsesion con eso. My mom compro el maso de jugo de cranberry para k nos limpiemos...(Ahh george I hate coconut too)
Yo no se que es lo que ellos piensan que tenemos adentro.. yo creo k ellos creen k andamos por la calle revisando basureros y comiendonos cualkier cosa k nos encontramos adentro.. jajajaja.. no creo k piensen eso, pero algo cerca.
Pero na a limpiase to el mundo.. aunke yo piense k eso debe ser bueno to be clean inside and out.

Gabriela said...

Diane Ili, my thoughts exactly!!!

Ahh and I looooove coconut!

MASTER said...

bueno george en RD solo hay dos cosas que limpian. en el interior (riñones, higado, estomago y demas yerbas aromaticas) la piña.

Y en el exterior el MUSU pq alvidese que ute se etriega con un MUSU y agua nama y eso le va a quitar el sucio de arriba por ma que tenga.

Y en nicaragua aprendi que el agua de coco alla si limpia (pq yo nunca habia oido eso hasta q estube alla y mira q soy del campo)