Today I told my dad that some of my college friends were planning on doing a party in Jubilee in May called "We Are The 90s." I was really excited about it and told him how much I looked forward to it all. I told him how the 90s were so much better, so much more fun, so crazy for us, better music, better places, better friends. He kept on looking straight as I drove and ranted for about 10 minutes of traffic back from work. Finally almost as we arrive to our house he says, "Es increible... Tú solamente tienes 22 años y ya estas hablando que en los tiempos de antes era mejor. Esa fiesta la hacen porque ya se sienten viejos..."
Funny thing is my mind didn't really get stuck on the whole "we are getting old" thing. It went further... I started to think about the 90s. If I think about it the 90s incorporates from when I turned 7 to when I turned 17. Now, the rest of this blog, from this point on, will mostly be for people who are 20 and above. It will feel stronger to them. If you are from 17 to 20 then you might be starting to go thru this. If you are younger then take this as a "heads up."
Do you remember when you were 14 to 16? Remember life back then? Do you remember your favorite show? Your favorite teams? Favorite movies? Favorite games/toys? Best friends? Boyfriend/Girlfriend? Favorite places to go? What you did on the weekends? ... Remember what you wanted to be when you grew up?
See that is the one that got to me.
Now, most people don't even believe me when I tell them I am a teacher. Heck, I am damn sure some of my best friends think I am just doing a job for the time being. They do not really know that it is what I love to do. Most people don't know I like Heavy Metal music, but I listen to almost everything else. Some people don't know I studied Business Administration and some people still think I stayed in Economics. Only a handful of people know what I really wanted to be my whole life up until I was 18.
When I was a kid my parents always told me I was creative, had an inmense imagination, and I was good describing things. One way or another. I liked to write. I loved music. I liked to read. I loved to draw. So, it became quite obvious that what I was good at was Arts, in all its variants.
I wanted to do it all. I wanted to learn to play the bass guitar or the acoustic guitar. I wanted to write poetry and short stories. I wanted to read non-stop books per author. I wanted to draw and paint on canvas. Heck, I even sculpted the NotreDame Cathedral of France once & did a copy of Vincent Van Gogh's Starry Night. I'm not lying.
I was given several scholarships to study Computer Animation, Graphic Designs, Architecture, Arts Major, and Computer Graphics...
I didn't take any of them. Instead I stayed here. I started Economics. Noticed how horrible it was, switched to BusAdm and finished off easily.
The funny thing is, now that I think about it, I would draw in all my classes. I don't mean scribbles and all these crazy lines that make no sense. I would draw people. I would draw landscapes in my mind. I would draw the classroom. I would draw the cafeteria. I would just draw. If I didn't draw I would be writing. Writing poetry, writing prose, writing a short story, or whatever came to mind.
I have that in me. I have that need to let it out. I know now that I did not really do what I should have, but hey... I love teaching and if I had left the country to Parsons would I have been able to notice how much I love teaching?
So... what's better? what's worse?
What I found out? What I missed?
Think about it. What did you REALLY want to be? What happened? Was it worth it?
I don't know. I'm happy with my life. I love all my students, regardless. I love my work. I love my friends. I'm happy.... but as always, it's missing... and it will come out, I know it will.