Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Past Passions, and the New...

Today I told my dad that some of my college friends were planning on doing a party in Jubilee in May called "We Are The 90s." I was really excited about it and told him how much I looked forward to it all. I told him how the 90s were so much better, so much more fun, so crazy for us, better music, better places, better friends. He kept on looking straight as I drove and ranted for about 10 minutes of traffic back from work. Finally almost as we arrive to our house he says, "Es increible... Tú solamente tienes 22 años y ya estas hablando que en los tiempos de antes era mejor. Esa fiesta la hacen porque ya se sienten viejos..."

...

He's right.

...

damnit

...

Funny thing is my mind didn't really get stuck on the whole "we are getting old" thing. It went further... I started to think about the 90s. If I think about it the 90s incorporates from when I turned 7 to when I turned 17. Now, the rest of this blog, from this point on, will mostly be for people who are 20 and above. It will feel stronger to them. If you are from 17 to 20 then you might be starting to go thru this. If you are younger then take this as a "heads up."

Do you remember when you were 14 to 16? Remember life back then? Do you remember your favorite show? Your favorite teams? Favorite movies? Favorite games/toys? Best friends? Boyfriend/Girlfriend? Favorite places to go? What you did on the weekends? ... Remember what you wanted to be when you grew up?

See that is the one that got to me.

Now, most people don't even believe me when I tell them I am a teacher. Heck, I am damn sure some of my best friends think I am just doing a job for the time being. They do not really know that it is what I love to do. Most people don't know I like Heavy Metal music, but I listen to almost everything else. Some people don't know I studied Business Administration and some people still think I stayed in Economics. Only a handful of people know what I really wanted to be my whole life up until I was 18.

When I was a kid my parents always told me I was creative, had an inmense imagination, and I was good describing things. One way or another. I liked to write. I loved music. I liked to read. I loved to draw. So, it became quite obvious that what I was good at was Arts, in all its variants.

I wanted to do it all. I wanted to learn to play the bass guitar or the acoustic guitar. I wanted to write poetry and short stories. I wanted to read non-stop books per author. I wanted to draw and paint on canvas. Heck, I even sculpted the NotreDame Cathedral of France once & did a copy of Vincent Van Gogh's Starry Night. I'm not lying.

I was given several scholarships to study Computer Animation, Graphic Designs, Architecture, Arts Major, and Computer Graphics...

I didn't take any of them. Instead I stayed here. I started Economics. Noticed how horrible it was, switched to BusAdm and finished off easily.

The funny thing is, now that I think about it, I would draw in all my classes. I don't mean scribbles and all these crazy lines that make no sense. I would draw people. I would draw landscapes in my mind. I would draw the classroom. I would draw the cafeteria. I would just draw. If I didn't draw I would be writing. Writing poetry, writing prose, writing a short story, or whatever came to mind.

I have that in me. I have that need to let it out. I know now that I did not really do what I should have, but hey... I love teaching and if I had left the country to Parsons would I have been able to notice how much I love teaching?

So... what's better? what's worse?

What I found out? What I missed?

Think about it. What did you REALLY want to be? What happened? Was it worth it?

I don't know. I'm happy with my life. I love all my students, regardless. I love my work. I love my friends. I'm happy.... but as always, it's missing... and it will come out, I know it will.

8 comments:

joha said...

Damn G, I've seen u got potencial and that your creative, thats what we (students) like about you, we can talk about anything and you'll know right away what were talking about.
You make a difference in lots of peoples lives (myself included) you have the ability to transmit that potencial,knowledge,creativeness etc.... to us your students and freinds so I understand why you never miss a day of class or got fed up, cause you realized maybe this is all that you could of asked for regardless of the "better oportunities" out there in the world that were offerd to you, and some how you chose us.

iliana... said...

Yo te entiendo muchisimo!! Eso es algo k me pasa a mi misma, como k you love doing this, but you also love doing something completely different, and you cant do both at the same time, so you always feel like something is missing, wondering what if??
Eso es algo que me pasa a mi todos los dias. BTW Im glad you stayed here because well you are an amazing teacher and person [he is!]. Pero if you feel the need to feed your artistic side (k no sabia k tenias uno) why dont you take some classes do something, start as a hobbie, I dunno, Im pretty sure there's something you could be doing.

Manu said...

lo creas o no aun sigues pintando, escribiendo y poniendole musica a la vida de muchas personas, algunas veces con colores oscuros, tonos menores, escalas mayores, a veces movimientos largos o cortos, a veces muxos violines y otras veces muxo double bass y cellos al unisono.......pero como kiera yo me siento super orgulloso man de lo que tu hace, xq yo se q eso e lo q tu amas, xq yo me imagino q ES poder hacer lo q uno ama, porque yo kiero llegar ahi.....so q en some sort of way te has desarrollado como un gran artista

Anonymous said...

yo te he dicho que eso que haces me llena no se..okei yo te admiro, te lo dije una vez..dos veces creo q más y lo mas importante es q te gusta y has dejado cosas para seguir eso q haces..estas exactamente donde debes estar..sino fuera asi no estarias y mucho menos siendo feliz con ello.

gabi said...

Staying here better than Parsons, como asi?! heehh just kidding.

Que bien es encontrar personas que se apasionan tanto. No hay nada mejor que estar enamorado de lo que haces todos los dias, estar enamorado de tu TRABAJO que resulta tan horrible para muchos.

Good luck =)

Kiki A.Ortiz said...

si no fueras teacher yorch ,entonces nunca te peinarias.

Gabriela said...

que te digo, es verdad... los otros dias me di cuenta que la mayor parte de la musica que bajo es VIEJA, o sea, vieja de los 80 y principio de los 90, pero na no es eso lo que queria decirte.

Respondiendo tu pregunta, muchas cosas quise ser, piloto (en serio, hasta hice las averiguaciones para entrar a la FAD y todo!), biologa marina (pero me di cuenta que eso es de por vida, not for me), diplomata... el caso es que empece en publicidad y acabe en mercadeo, creo que no tengo algo que me ate a ser siempre lo mismo como pasa con los doctores, veterinarios... no podria, vivo en un constante movimiento y creo que siempre sere asi.

Lo mas importante es NO TENER ARREPENTIMIENTOS, hay tantas razones que nos llevan a tomar decisiones, si siempre vivimos con esas dudas de si fue lo mejor si valio la pena, entonces no disfrutaremos lo que coseguimos. Imaginate que pudieras darle atras al tiempo, que cosas pasaron que no hubiesen sucedido si tomaras el otro camino, cuantas cosas buenas te perderias entonces?

Un beso,

Gabbs

SPIDERWOMAN said...

Best times ever were the '80s. The '90s are OK and were also veeeeeeeery cool. Pero como hasta el '94-'95.

Anyway, que no fue pa' pelial que vine, jejejejejejeje. Todos pasamos por ahí. Yo nunca llegué a ser lo que siempre quise ser: médico. Instead, I've been a paramedic on my free time, voluntarily, no money involved. Y eso me llenaba... También el ser instructora de First Aids classes. Hoy en día recuerdo esos tiempos con alegría y me contento con ayudar a mis personas conocidas y queridas a comprender mejor situaciones médicas en las que se encuentren. NO es curarlos, jejejeje, es simplemente darles más información y por qué sucede X cosa y por qué tal otra.

Mi carrera nunca la ejercí, solamente unos 7 meses cuando estaba todavía en mi segundo año de la uni. Después de ahí todo fue otra cosa, y una cosa llevaba a la otra y la otra a la otra y así acabé yo aquí: coincidencia (prefiero llamarle "sincronización") tras coincidencia, dadas unas por algo y otras por ese otro algo. Cadenas de acontecimientos.

Well, George... cuando llegues a donde yo estoy (no es tan lejos, te faltan tu par de añitos pa' llegar) y mires atrás, ENTONCES verás muchas cosas de una manera más clara...

Take care!